I have had a love affair with baubles since I was a very young child.
My great grandmother lived in California and did not make it to Arkansas
very often. I think I remember seeing her twice as a child. She died when
I was ten. One of the memories I have of seeing her was so I am not sure
how to put it, but weird is the first word that comes to mind. You need to
know that she was a twin. Her twin lived in the same town that my grandmother
lived in, so every time we went to visit my grandparents we also got to see
Aunt Gracie. So in my little mind, Aunt Gracie was my substitute great grandmother. I loved her so very dearly. Sooooo when my great grandmother
did come to town (I think I was 5 or 6) seeing two Aunt Gracies floored and spooked me. I knew they were twins, but I had never experienced twins like that. Same eyes,
same hair, same skin, same laugh, same smile, same gestures, same everything! I was
so totally confused. I didn't want to hurt my Aunt Gracie's, or GG's feelings but for the life of me, I could not figure out who was who...and I most definitely was afraid to ask.
Then I realized something! My gg had baubles on her ears! Oh I was so very
excited. I wondered if anyone else had discovered the secret to her identity!
I knew it was my gg because my uncle had kissed my Aunt Gracie. I thought I
was so so smart! I could call out to my great grandmother and impress her and
all the adults around me...and I did. Most of all I impressed myself! I even
ventured to sit in her lap and low and behold, those earrings were beautiful!
It was at that point in my life that baubles became a great treasure! I do
remember fearing that the next day she wouldn't wear any and then I would be
back to guessing. I went into the kitchen for breakfast that morning and there
stood my two Aunt Gracies with their backs to me. I wasn't sure what I was going
to do, and then my gg turned around and there were baubles on her ears again! I was so elated.
I still don't know if my siblings or the other kids in the family ever figured it
out. I don't recall telling my secret to anyone. I was sure at that time the earrings she wore were worth millions of dollars...after all she was from California where all the movie stars were from and they were rich soooo I am sure my gg was too!
When my gg died, my grandmother recieved a few pairs of her bauble earrings that were and still are so gloriously beautiful! When I visit my granny, I always ask
to see them. I know that my gg wore them over 40 years ago. They are a tangible
part of her that I can touch.
That is where my love of baubles started on a woman that birthed my most wonderful grandmother and those ears that held the secret to my great knowledge of which twin was my great grandmother!
Friday, January 16, 2009
1. No one can ruin your day without your permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs......lasts.
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Success is getting up one more time.
19. Now is the most interesting time of all.
20. When things go wrong.....don't go with the flow.(go to prayer)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I am not jealous of tangible things...
There is nothing physical on this earth that stirs jealousy in me.
However...when we get to the intangible things...I have dealt with
those quite a bit.
One of the biggest issues I have had to deal with was with Wesley's
relationship with Chelsea.
I struggled and cried for almost two years. He doted on her every
breath and was always so wrapped up in her. I felt really like an
outsider. I was crying before the Lord one day, confessing my sin of
jealousy...I had stopped my crying long enough to catch my breath
when the Lord said,"Angela, that is how a daddy is suppose to love
his daughter and that is how I love you."...immediately I was able to
let go of the anger and resentment I had been holding on to for those
I had never felt loved or wanted by my earthly father, and had no
idea what that relationship should consist of. But when my Heavenly
Father took the time to tell me that I was that important to Him. It
immediately began to heal such a deep feeling of loss and rejection
in me. Satan had lied to me all those years, and I had listened to
his lies. I had listened to his words that cause me to feel isolation
and abandonment. When God reassured me of my acceptance and
importance to Him..my life began to change. I began to love myself,
because if God could love me...then I felt I was surely important to
Him. It was a big step in my emotional healing.
I will post more as you share also...I know satan wants to cause us
to feel isolated and all alone in the world and he will tell us any
lies that he thinks will cause us the greatest harm in our beings.
He is such a jerk!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Most of you know that I carried a very light load last semester at college.
The wedding and Wes's mom's illness, found priority in my life. The good news
is that Ouida is doing so much better than the doctors ever expected her to.
Praise God for that...and the good news is that Haleigh postponed her wedding
for a very good reason. She wasn't ready. These two very wonderful ladies in my
life gave us wonderful suprises. I also was able to "put make up" on the shoppe
and make her look pretty now. New carpet, new show cases, new tile, new paint all through the front of the shoppe and new work spaces. On the inside, it doesn't look like the same place at all. Thank You Lord!
Now as the New Year has started, it is time to get focused on my heart's desire.
My heart is full of nervous energy right now. I know I will be awake early in the
morning ready to go to school. I have to leave the house around 7 to make it to class by 8. Come 5 a.m. I bet my eyes will be wide open and searching for the sunlight that should be coming through the blinds in my bedroom. I might just have to wake up the sun myself!
This semester I will be learning stone setting. I know that it is a class that I need to take, but I just don't see me doing a big happy dance over learning this. I could be so pleasantly suprised though. What I am excited about is my Art Metals class!!!!!!!!!! I can hardly wait for Tuesday and Thursday nights to get here! I have some jewerly designs in my head that I am so excited to put to metal. I want to learn Mokume Gane'. It is a japanese metal art form. This is not the only thing that I will be learning, but it is one that has my heart stirred. If the class was held from 2am to 6am I would be there with bells on!!
I also will be buying all of my equipment this semester to have the shoppe in full working order. Not necessarily all the bells and whistles but what I need to serve the public right now. The Lord has really held my heart on this. I have not had any anxiety about not having what I need yet. I have bought some items here and there over the past year or so... but the Lord told me now is the time. He is ordering my footsteps...It is so scarey at times because, I know that my simple little mind can not fanthom the thoughts of God. I am having to take deep breaths almost everytime
a new item comes to mind that I believe I am to purchase.
Soooo that is where I am today... I guess this is the first time I am blogging according to my blog name...
Saturday, January 3, 2009
There were many times in my marriage that I can see that I gave my
husband opportunity to have an affair.
The person he married was so control oriented, and full of festering
wounds...that my life was all about me......and it was very very ugly. Thankfully he was committed to the marriage. All the times I had spent judging him and his ungodliness(he is and was a Christian) he was more solid in the word of
God than I had ever dreamed of being. All the storms of our marriage that basically I stirred up he weathered, often times soaked and beaten emotionally and
spiritually. He just stood through the storms coming out solid as a large rock
on the edge of the ocean. As I look back, all the abuse, and yuk he dealt with due to my hurts and pains....they have caused some erosion of who he was. He says that it just caused him to grow and mature and to appreciate his grand parents marriage even more. They were his example and I thank God they were. Their example is
what gave him the courage and the umph to hang on when all there was was a thread to hang by.
I thank God that He was strong enough to not let me beat him up
spiritually and cause him to question his relationship with Christ. The Lord knows I tried breaking him...I don't know why but I know ..it goes back to that control issue.
God has done a great healing in me and has taken this broken, shattered life and restored it to be what He had originally planned for me. I had to come to a place of
submission to Christ and to my husband. After years of abuse from authority figures in my life...I had to learn to trust my authority figures...or I should say...trust the God in my authority figures.
I walk in a happieness and carefree lifestyle that I had never
known until 15 years ago. I didn't know what a belly laugh was...I didn't know the cost of tears were so exspensive. I had no ideal how my my Father God loved me. I had no ideal that I was truly the apple of His eye and that He had given me a
wise, Godly man who is stronger than I ever dreamed a man could be....you see his stregnth is in the Lord...not in himself and when he needs more...He goes to his
source and his source always always has an ample supply.
Well I am not sure why I posted this...but I just am Praising God
for His goodness in my life...for His restoration of my life and my marriage.
I truly am the most blessed woman I know!