Saturday, January 3, 2009
My Wonderful Honey
There were many times in my marriage that I can see that I gave my
husband opportunity to have an affair.
The person he married was so control oriented, and full of festering
wounds...that my life was all about me......and it was very very ugly. Thankfully he was committed to the marriage. All the times I had spent judging him and his ungodliness(he is and was a Christian) he was more solid in the word of
God than I had ever dreamed of being. All the storms of our marriage that basically I stirred up he weathered, often times soaked and beaten emotionally and
spiritually. He just stood through the storms coming out solid as a large rock
on the edge of the ocean. As I look back, all the abuse, and yuk he dealt with due to my hurts and pains....they have caused some erosion of who he was. He says that it just caused him to grow and mature and to appreciate his grand parents marriage even more. They were his example and I thank God they were. Their example is
what gave him the courage and the umph to hang on when all there was was a thread to hang by.
I thank God that He was strong enough to not let me beat him up
spiritually and cause him to question his relationship with Christ. The Lord knows I tried breaking him...I don't know why but I know ..it goes back to that control issue.
God has done a great healing in me and has taken this broken, shattered life and restored it to be what He had originally planned for me. I had to come to a place of
submission to Christ and to my husband. After years of abuse from authority figures in my life...I had to learn to trust my authority figures...or I should say...trust the God in my authority figures.
I walk in a happieness and carefree lifestyle that I had never
known until 15 years ago. I didn't know what a belly laugh was...I didn't know the cost of tears were so exspensive. I had no ideal how my my Father God loved me. I had no ideal that I was truly the apple of His eye and that He had given me a
wise, Godly man who is stronger than I ever dreamed a man could be....you see his stregnth is in the Lord...not in himself and when he needs more...He goes to his
source and his source always always has an ample supply.
Well I am not sure why I posted this...but I just am Praising God
for His goodness in my life...for His restoration of my life and my marriage.
I truly am the most blessed woman I know!