Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Meeting Josh Part 4

Josh had asked to spend the night on Saturday night. I of course,said,"yes!" almost before he was finished asking. I couldn't believe that he wanted to spend the night in my home. I knew that it was going to be a lonnnng night. Joann went back to the hotel around eleven.

Sunday morning came early. Too early!I awoke around 6. Seems like I had kids wall to wall in my living room. There was Kara, Isaiah,Chelsea, and Josh. I couldn't take a step in my living room with out taking a chance of stepping on anyone. It was wonderful.I made a pot of coffee, sat at my dining room table and gazed upon my sleeping family. I watched Josh sleep. It dawned on me that that was something that I don't ever remember doing.

When he was born, I gave his parents all rights to do as they wanted with him while we were in the hospital. I wanted the bonding to take place immediately with him. They were in the labor room with me and then then delivery room with me. I remember the doctor asking if I wanted the baby. I said no, to give him to his mamma. That is the last thing I remember before going out after delivery. She holding Josh, Rick holding her. It was just a wonderful healing moment for me.

Back to watching that beautiful blond hair man sleeping on a mattress on my living room floor. I wanted to get near enough to watch the covers lift and fall. I scooted a chair closer to him when I got my cup of coffee and newspaper. He awoke for just a minute, smiled and went back to sleep. I knew he was so tired. His eyes looked tired. He had spent so much of himself on my family. I wondered if he would have anything to give on Sunday. We were all truly so tired,but our hearts were so excited. I am sure excitement is what drove us to continue this wonderful time. Eventually everyone got to stirring.

Joann and Josh went to church with us. It was wonderful having two so important people with me in a place that is so important to me. A place that has helped to bring alot of healing in my emotions and life. It is a place that I feel safe and at home. Lunch was sandwiches, chips, and watermelon. I don't think I have ever had watermelon that sweet in my life. I don't know if it was the circumstances that made it so sweet or if it truly was. (I normally don't like watermelon).

The day before Josh came down, he had a tattoo put on. I don't think that is the correct terminology, but it is permanent and it's not going anywhere. It is a tree, with a side branch growing off of it. I wondered what the significance of the side branch was. I didn't ask,I figured one day if there is anything special about it I will find out. Josh said the tree represented his family, and where he had come from up to that point. I believe he meant Rick, Joann and him. He wanted a reminder of that constantly he said.In remembrance of that the tattoo, Joann, Josh and I went out Sunday afternoon in search of a tree to plant in our yard in remembrance of this wonderful reunion. We all took turns digging the hole to plant the tree. I have dubbed it the "Joshua" tree. It is a wonderful addition to my front yard and a sweet reminder each time I see it. Not just for me, but for our whole family.

Just as we were almost finished, Haleigh pulled up. She had been in Florida up to this part of his visit. She had had prior commitments and wasn't able to leave before Saturday evening to head home. That was a 23(?) hour drive home! It was so wonderful seeing the two of them together. Josh was abit overwhelmed and shy, but Kara and Haleigh kidnapped him and disappeared for a little while. I am not sure where they went or what they did. I think they pinky promised him to secrecy! Pinky Promise! Argh! Who came up with that?? Moms need to know these things! They came back full of laughter and life! It was such a heart hugging feeling to see these three adults being kids. I was speechless there for a little while. I wondered what each one was thinking about the other. They seemed to move together so well. Just like they had always been together with a living relationship. The years of separation seemed to have disappeared so quickly.We loaded up in three different vehicles and headed to the lake to grill chicken for dinner.I wanted to let my children spend what time they could. I was seeing a joy in them that I don't recall seeing in a long time.

This reunion was just as important to them as it was to Joshua. I was watching this take place before my very eyes. It was such a very very humbling experience. I couldn't speak. All I could do was cry. All I wanted at that moment was to be left alone to feel all the emotions that were running through me without reserve. That was done. All six of the kids were so wrapped up in each other. The laughter, the quirkiness of each one shining through, each of these my children, each of these their own self.

I am crying again, so I will close for now.


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