Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mother's Day 2008/Josh is Coming!

It was a quiet, noneventful day. Only one well, maybe two of my five children had mentioned Mother's Day to me. The others I guess just aren't mature enough to understand the role of a mother or maybe I am just not a good mother. The good Lord knows I try hard, but oftentimes I just sit and question myself. I try to do what I know is right, and what I am not sure of, I try to run it by the Lord before I toss it at my children.

Anyway, back to my nice quiet Mother's Day.I am not sure where I had been, but I came into my bedroom and Micah said that Joann had called. I was to call her back asap. Joann is the wonderful life mom of Joshua. Joshua is the child I gave up for adoption in 1989. Josh's parents and I had always agreed that we would meet when Josh was ready. That meant, not when I was ready or when his parents were ready. We had discussed them coming in July this year. That is where my heart was set. I called Joann back, she said that Josh was ready NOW and would it be okay if they came on Thursday. I think I said something like, "Thursday, four days from now?" She said yes.Yes!?!?!?!?Oh my gosh! The fear set in! What if he didn't like me? What if he met me and walked out to never see me again?All I really knew to do was to gather this heaping pile of fear together and lay it at the feet of Jesus. It was toooo big of an issue for me to have dealt with.

Once I got the fear in the proper place the excitement set in. I laughed, and then I cried, and then I laughed and then I cried. Four days of laughing and crying and not much sleeping. Did I mention cleaning in there too?? I had class everyday from 7:30 to 5. With an hour drive time both ways. Not much time to do anything, but laugh, cry and clean on occasion.

Thursday finally arrived. It was late when they got to town. This child I had waited a life time to see was in the same town as me, and I wasn't able to get my hands on him! I know they were tired from the travel. I had to wait til Friday morning to see him! Now, the thought did cross my mind to go sit in the hotel parking lot and await their arrival. I couldn't violate his mom's trust, so I didn't. I never want her to feel threatened by me at all. Well, since I had to wait, y'all will too.I will post again tomorrow what happened the Friday morning!
Sleep tight!

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